The Accidental Socialist

Being a socialist is hard. Being an accidental socialist is harder. Because I didn't really choose this life per se. I was never into the ideology. I don't like hammers (manual labor, gross) and red bandanas (I'm more of a winter). And I always thought Lenin was a Beatle. 

No, I became a socialist because of a boy...

Classic, right?

That's what he thinks...

Bullshit aside, why am I doing this?

It seems lots of places in the States these days want to experiment with socialism. Or at least what they think socialism is. But most of the time, they are cosplaying. Grabbing the good, ignoring the bad, and then going home to enjoy 31 flavors of capitalism on their iPhones. But unlike almost everyone on the planet, I became part of one of the few actual, 100% real McCoy socialist societies left in the world.

I have somehow found myself living on a socialist commune (also known as a kibbutz) in name of **gags ** love. So, even though I am not an expert of Marx’s, The Communist Manifesto, I do live in a community that attributes much of its principles and ethos to it. 

I thought that maybe it was time to write down my experiences: the good, the bad, and the ugly, and share it (because we socialists love sharing!). 

Here, I will write about my experiences living on socialist kibbutz,  from the philosophy and lifestyle, to how to raise a family, to the daily life challenges that might look different than the things you experience. 

Okay, Strange Lady, continue… 

The truth is, all because of a boy,  I have lived on a completely socialist kibbutz in Israel for the past 13 years.

 (Phew, just that sentence was a lot to unpack.)

Now, before I get into my truly wild experiences as an American spoon-fed capitalist to a socialist democrat farmer, there are few things you need to understand:

1. What is a kibbutz?

   
   

The OG hora

Kibbutz in Hebrew loosely translates to “community” or “gathering”. 

Imagine a large family or a small, self-contained town where:

• Everything is shared: From property to profits.

• Everyone works together: For the good of the whole community.

• Decisions are made together: Democratically, of course. We even had to vote on toilet paper once (more on that later). 

• They take care of each other: Providing for everyone's needs.

Kibbutzim (plural of kibbutz) started as farming communities, but many today run all sorts of businesses, still maintaining that sense of togetherness and social responsibility. Most communities have a strong culture based on secular, left-leaning, and agricultural values. They were once an important part of Israel’s political and cultural landscape, however as the State has changed, so has the influence of the kibbutz movement. 

Kibbutznik women working the land...not my story, but get it, girl.

Today, there are very few truly socialist kibbutzim left. 

And before you ask, yes, kibbutzim are a particular phenomenon to the State of Israel. If you got a problem with that, then sucks to suck. 

Part of the kibbutzs' raison d'être is Zionism, or the belief that the Jews have a right to self-determination in their native homeland. 

2. The kibbutz movement is old, older than the state of Israel.

   
   

   My kibbutz, for example, just celebrated its 103rd birthday (but still looking 70). If you think we are snobby because of it, you are probably right… And add the fact that we are still socialist when less than 20% of the total 265 kibbutzim still are? 

   
   

Girl , you are looking at royalty.

3. They are not kidding when they mean that everything is shared.

   
   

   I will go into details as my blog progresses, but here are a few examples to satisfy your curiosity:

   
   
   
   

• We do not pay any bills. The kibbutz pays our national taxes for us, and all electricity, water, heating, etc., is free for individuals.

• There are three meals a day in a communal dining hall.

• I do not pay for my apartment, however I do not get to really choose my apartment. I get an apartment based on the number of kids I have and how long I have lived in the kibbutz. The apartment is not mine, it belongs to the kibbutz. 

• Our salaries from our jobs do not go to us, but to the kibbutz. We get a stipend every year based on our family situation. So, someone who works in the laundry mat will get the same income as a CEO of a startup. 

• There is no way to increase your annual income. Any and all income, including bonuses from your work, goes directly to the kibbutz. 

4. There are TONS of rules.

   
   

Follow the rules. The kibbutz loves rules.

But we also love values. 

They make us feel better about ourselves for all the RULES. 

Thinking about something? There's probably a rule for that...

So, there you have it. The general idea of the kibbutz. As the blog progresses, my hope is that my experiences will cause you to think and question what you know or hear. To experience a totally different lifestyle through my eyes.

But keep in mind, the things I will describe are my experiences, not facts. I will write about the silly, the disappointing, and the absolute what-fuckery of living this lifestyle. 

You wanna experience some weird socialist shit? You’ve come to the right place…